#mylifematters
Maybe instead of using divisive labels we could all just learn something about each other as individuals instead of a color/gender/sexual. Leave the hate for each others differences behind and embrace the possibility and collaboration that is possible from those differences. Tell me your story and why your life matters.
I'll even start...
I'm a white trailer-trash high-school dropout who is also a single parent with a chronic illness.
While these all may be technically accurate as a description not one of those labels really describes me. They even describe me less when thrown all together like that.Breaking each of those labels down a bit...
I'm white - well mostly anyway. My dad did our genealogy back many many generations. We have at least one full blooded Native American not to far back, looking at the melanin in my skin you probably wouldn't believe me. My skin is really pale with a lot of red undertones and a ton of freckles anywhere the sun touches it.
I'm trailer-trash - or at least I grew up in a variety of trailer homes in mobile home courts. None of these were nice enough to be called manufactured homes. My mom did a fairly good job of keeping our home clean and my dad did a good job of keeping a roof over our heads.
I'm a high-school dropout - I dropped out of high school my junior year and received my GED. Due to issues with my mother I was no longer able to live at home. I went to work and worked for several years at multiple jobs. Eventually I went back to school and acquired my Associates degree. I even went out a few years ago and took the test for Mensa, which I was accepted into.
I'm a single parent - When I had to tell my dad that I was pregnant I didn't know what response I would receive. The response that I received is what every woman wants to hear from their family. "Whatever you decide you have my full support, no judgement" I considered all of the options and even called about an abortion, I decided against it because I knew that someone out there wanted a child. Turns out that that someone was me. I could have probably given her up for adoption up until the moment I held her in the hospital.
I have a chronic-illness - Around eight years ago I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. When I started falling down for no reason I went to the clinic and work and was extremely lucky that the PA working that day recognized what was going on and referred me out to a neurologist. It seems weird to describe that as lucky but there are many people out there that are told that their symptoms are all in their head, especially when those symptoms aren't in evidence at the office. While that is in fact true, our t-cells are actually attacking our brain leaving scar tissue, and they do come and go. It would be so easy to let that alone define me and start spiraling down into depression and hopelessness.
Out of all of those labels they only one that I'm really proud of is that I'm a single parent who has managed to raise an amazing daughter. I refuse to let any of the others actually define me in anyway.
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There have been many times in my life that I really didn't think that my life mattered, where I could just disappear off the face of the world and no one would even notice or miss me. Heck, I even feel that way sometimes now.
My life may not matter overall to the rest of the world but I am a link in the chain to the future.
I was raised in a 3 bedroom trailer in a small town in a trailer court, it wasn't great but it wasn't horribly bad either. We were broke more often than not, though we did have a roof over our heads and it didn't leak after we got up there and did a patch job. My dad didn't hire people to do the work, he learned how and taught us how to make the needed repairs.
One of the things that I miss most about where I grew up was the community. Each person was unique but they all contributed to my knowledge base growing up. I learned carpentry and auto mechanics from my dad, I learned how to catch night crawlers and crawdads from this amazingly interesting lady down the road. I never thought to ask her what race she was I just loved listening to her stories and learning from her.
I dropped out of high school my Junior year after my mom's latest mental breakdown when she kicked me out of the house because I refused to conform to her image of what I should be and how I should behave. I managed to get my GED and worked multiple jobs to support myself for a few years. I sucked at keeping in contact with the friends I had grown up with because I felt worthless when I left there.
When I was 21 I met someone and made both the worst mistake of my life and the best. I got pregnant. I wanted nothing to do with the violence, drugs, and self destruction that I saw that way so I closed myself off from that person and their family so that I could raise my daughter outside of their influence. As much as getting pregnant and being single was a mistake, I always tell my daughter that she is the best mistake of my life.
Having her made me quit floating around and establish some roots (of sorts). I was on welfare, receiving foodstamps, wic, and daycare help. I took a job that barely got me off welfare it would have been so much easier to just stay at the level of letting someone (the government in this case) take care of me. I did get lucky along the way and managed to enroll in a community college and obtain a degree that led me to a career that I enjoyed for many years. This allowed me to raise my daughter with much more confidence in herself than I did at the same age.
I don't know all of my daughter's genetic makeup and I really don't care as long as she doesn't have the genetic markers to subject her to my illness later in life.
My illness isn't contagious but it could potentially put me in a wheelchair and trap me within my own failing mind. I work on keeping it in check and if the worse happens I will deal with it then, worrying about it now does nothing but cause further stress.
I've never joined the military, or become a firefighter, police officer, or doctor. I've never saved a life, that I know of anyway. So in that aspect my life may not matter and that can make me feel insignificant but just maybe my photography will touch someone's soul and resonate with them in a manner that makes them move forward with something world changing.
Maybe one of my grandchildren (or great-great-great-...) will do something absolutely amazing in the future.
So when I start thinking that my life doesn't matter I remember just one simple thing...
I am a link in the chain to the future.
